How to Share a Snack with your Toddler in 37 Easy, Interactive Steps!

A great activity for mom (or dad!) to bond with your sweet, precious, willful, opinionated toddler. Based on a real afternoon with my almost-2-year-old son. Warning: your mileage may vary. 

How to Share a Snack with your Toddler in just 37 easy, interactive steps

  1. Feed your toddler a nice afternoon snack. 
  2. Decide you want your own snack.
  3. Begin to make peanut butter toast while telling toddler, “Mama is going to have peanut butter toast, and I will share some with you.”
  4. Toddler enthusiastically agrees to peanut butter toast.
  5. Sometime between putting the bread into the toaster and smearing on the peanut butter, toddler has change of heart. Is very upset about either peanut butter or toast, but not sure which.
  6. Carry on making your snack despite toddler fussing at your feet.
  7. Toddler begins to cry “mommy hold you.”
  8. Carry toddler and toast to the table to eat.
  9. Toddler becomes upset about sitting in your lap/ sharing a chair with you: “BABY’S CHAIR.”
  10. Put toddler in his very own chair—preferably at the Big Table, because high chairs are The Worst Thing Ever. Thanks for that, Montessori school.
  11. Mistakenly rest your foot on rung of the toddler’s chair, get scolded by toddler.
  12. Offer small piece of toast to toddler as a peace offering.
  13. Toddler refuses.
  14. Take a bite of your own damn toast.
  15. Toddler cries.
  16. Offer again.
  17. Refused again.
  18. Toddler becomes upset at the idea of sharing a plate; move plate over in front of toddler.
  19. Toddler finally begins eating toast. Success!
  20. Try to sneak a bite of your own dang toast, toddler becomes enraged. “Baby’s toast!”
  21. Politely ask toddler to share a bite of the toast with you.
  22. He agrees; take 1 small bite.
  23. Things are looking up, but toddler is now covered in peanut butter.
  24. Toddler gently caresses the sleeve of your clean shirt with his peanut buttery hands.
  25. Get frustrated and tell him, “No touch!, you have peanut butter on your hands.”
  26. Toddler becomes distraught about the existence of peanut butter.
  27. Toddler begins crying “NO PEANUT BUTTER” and trying to scrape it all off his toast… I mean, your toast.
  28. Try to explain that it’s physically impossible to take the peanut butter off the toast.
  29. Toddler is now even more covered in peanut butter, is more upset, and wants to be held.
  30. Clean toddler’s sticky hands and face.
  31. Toddler wants the toast again, of course, now that he’s cleaned up.
  32. Eat the squished remnants of toast yourself while toddler cries.
  33. Put toddler in timeout, close door to his room.
  34. Sit down to relax for a minute in peace and regain composure.
  35. Toddler manages to lock his door from the inside.
  36. Talk to crying toddler until he figures out how to unlock the door.
  37. Wonder if it’s too early for a drink.

(It was too early for a drink. We went to Target instead.)