Recently my husband and I took one of those personality tests. Much to my surprise, we are complete opposites. Up until then, I chalked up our disagreements to just that, disagreements. Because we get along so well, I never stopped to think that we process information differently. But it also helped me to come to grips with a marriage cliche. Just because my husband and I don’t agree on EVERY SINGLE thing and have disagreements sometimes, it doesn’t mean we’re not happy. In fact, because of that, I feel we’re happier. I know you’re thinking, “DUH” but STOP and think about what that really means.
We argue, we disagree, and sometimes we go back and forth for hours. Despite our personality differences we’re both extremely stubborn and strong and have a “don’t back down” mindset. I had a hard life growing up which explains why I’m that way, but my husband was just born that way. Sometimes we get to the point where I think, “why won’t you just agree with me!?” But think about what sort of people we would be if every time someone disagreed with us we just conceded to their opinion. BORING!
So now, when people say they don’t ever have disagreements with their significant other, I get worried. How can you make someone a better them, and become a better you if all you both do is smile and nod at each other? Also what kind of wine are you drinking to make you so calm because I would like some?!
Don’t take this the wrong way, my husband and I DO NOT fight, yell, or scream with or at each other. According to Google, having an argument is to “give reasons or cite evidence in support of an idea, action, or theory, typically with the aim of persuading others to share one’s view.” We don’t linger on things and we’ve made it a point, since we were dating, to never bring up old things so as to build a case against the other. It is very important to know when to let insignificant things go. We have healthy arguments, and they help us grow together and individually.
To spice things up in your marriage/relationship here’s a personality test! It’s really fun to take it yourself and then have your mate take it for you. It’s hilarious how you never really stop to think about how well you know each other!