Have you ever thought about what you wish you knew before becoming a single mom? All the challenges you would endure? I know I didn’t. All I knew was the current situation I was in, wasn’t the life I was meant for and I deserved better. My children deserved better.
The day we entered single motherhood we were hit with a lot of change. Gone are the days of coming home to someone who is splitting the responsibilities of maintaining the home, bills, children or whatever. Everything in your life has changed for better or for worse.
Believe it or not, leaving a toxic relationship with your child’s father is really for the best. Moms leave relationships for a variety of reasons. For me, it was to better my mental health.
While it is ideal for you to raise your child together, think about the long-term benefits once the dust settles. I know it may be hard to see right now, but you should never feel regret for doing something that is both right for you and your child. Let me be very clear though, it is hard, but it does get better.
What is co-parenting?
You may need to prepare yourself for the possibility of parenting alone. Divorced or never married, your relationship status does not exclude you from this possibility. No matter what visitation agreement you and your ex come up with know things can change.
Single mothers do the job of three every day. Over time, you learn to lean on your family. No family nearby? Start building your own inner circle. It could be anyone from a trustworthy neighbor, a mom you met at yoga, the grocery store, or at your spiritual/religious organization.
Coping with Depression and Overwhelm
For a lot of single moms emotional and physical support is hard to come by. Often, being left alone to bear all the responsibilities of parenting can contribute to the development of depression. Due to never ending to do list, her mental health can suffer, and self-care might get pushed aside more often than it should. Depending on how extreme the condition, she could struggle with sleep, concentration issues, moodiness or fatigue.
We need to acknowledge when we can’t do it all on our own and accept everything will not get done without feeling burnt out. With the right support, it is possible to overcome these challenges and have a healthy and happy life.
Take control of your mental health and eliminate the overwhelm. Start by 10-minute meditation sessions a day or a simple gratitude list. Your mental health will take daily work and it’s best that you work on it so it does not affect your children.
Support Groups for Single Mother
Being a single mom can be lonely and feel isolating at times so it’s important to join some single mom support groups. Finding a tribe of people who are in the same boat can be a beautiful thing. These are women who are some of your biggest supporters who have been there so they may have a ton of advice. Having people to talk to when your family or friends just don’t get it is an awesome thing. You need this.
Okay, so if Facebook groups aren’t your thing that’s okay. There are single moms you can meet up within your local community or other social media outlets. Don’t know how to find single moms in your community? Start with sites like Meet Up.
Being a Single Mom
A day in the life of a single mom is exhausting, overwhelming, scary, full of sacrifice, and beautiful; all at the same time. I have days when I love motherhood, days when I just hate it, and I’m sure you do too. Every single mother’s journey is different. I know from connecting with a few women from a few groups that some women have it way worse than I have.
You will face challenges, and you will struggle with the adjustment. Don’t let that scare you from making a decision that could better your life and your child. Some days you will feel like a failure, other days, you know you got this. You have the motivation and an abundance of love to give your children everything that they need.
Stay strong and continue to be a great mom. Do not dwell too much on what your child is missing. Yes, it would be ideal to have the extra support, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. Give your child plenty of love and experiences that they will remember for a lifetime. Good luck on your journey!
Leave comments below and let me know how your single motherhood journey has been thus far!
Guest Author
| Daisha Renee is a single mom to three kids and lover of yoga. Since becoming a single mother, she has made it her mission to find practical ways to make life easier and wants to do the same for other mothers as well. On her blog, she shares tips on how to survive the challenges of being a single mom, tips for self-care management, and coping with depression. |
As a fellow single mom, this article was inspiring and made me feel as if I am not alone in the struggles to overcome the hardships and depression. Thank you Daisha and Atlanta City Moms.
You are so welcome!