St. Patrick’s Day Tips: How to Not Be Obnoxious

I love learning about family history. From the time I was a little girl, I heard about my great-grandmother. She was the Chieftess of her Creek Indian tribe. Oh, how I admired this tough woman. I didn’t know her but I wanted to be like her. I studied Native American history. My siblings and I had our tribal registry cards for the Creek tribe. I even had a three-inch binder filled with the language and was dead set on learning it.

So you can imagine my surprise when I received the results from the DNA ancestry kit and found out I was 0.3% Native American.

Zero point three percent, y’all. 

So while I still kinda feel like my whole life has been a lie, I’m quickly learning to embrace my newfound Scotch-Irish roots as St. Patrick’s Day quickly approaches. I’m not sure how a girl named Doyle can actually be surprised by Irish roots, but that’s another post.

So, friends? With all my sudden Irish expertise (because I don’t do things halfway), I’m gonna let you in on some tips for St. Patrick’s Day etiquette. Otherwise known as how to not be obnoxious.

Here are a few DOs and DON’Ts for a great St. Patrick’s Day:

DO wear green! St. Patrick’s Day is a day of celebration and fun. Enjoy it!

DON’T pinch people who are not wearing green. That’s just annoying.

DO claim every tiny bit of your Irish ancestry. I mean, hello. What better day to be Irish?

DON’T try to speak in an Irish accent. You’ll most likely end up insulting someone while sounding like the Lucky Charms guy.

DO embrace all things shamrock. Just remember it’s a three-leafed clover, not four. St. Patrick used it to teach about the Holy Trinity. 

DON’T mistake the Italian flag for the Irish flag. If you’re waving Italy’s colors at the parade, that would just be embarrassing. 

DO go out and have a pint! Sing old pub tunes and sway to Danny Boy. Tip your bartenders and ride share.

DON’T order an Irish Car Bomb. Ireland has a tragic, not so distant history involving car bombs. This drink is an American creation with a totally insensitive name. Let’s just not do that.

DO find a Pandora station or live band with great Irish tunes.

DON’T use “Patty” when shortening St. Patrick. It’s St. Paddy. Not Patty. Just a friendly warning–there are websites out there devoted to shaming people on social media who mix this up. I’m just looking out for you.

DO include your kids and learn more about the history of Ireland and Irish-Americans.

DO HAVE FUN!

How do you celebrate?  Do you have any tips to add? Share in the comments

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