My daughter turns one year old this month. When she was born, people told me to enjoy her as she was, because babyhood is exhausting but fleeting. Being a parent of an infant has felt exhausting at times, and I am wondering where the year went. However, experiencing infanthood on the parent side has been more joyful than painful, and as her first year comes to a close, I’m sad to leave infanthood behind.
Here are five things I’m going to miss about no longer having an infant:
Bottles. Despite the tedium of having to wash bottles every day, I’ve liked the ease of measuring out a nutritionally complete meal, shaking it up and handing it off to my baby. There’s no meal planning. No extended browsing of grocery store aisles. No cooking alternative food to satisfy a picky palate. Just plain, wholesome, 100 percent breastmilk and formula have been required to sustain her and help her grow. Of course, we’ve fed her an ever-expanding menu of soft and mild foods as the year has gone on, but when she sees me fixing her a bottle her face brightens, her arms go up in hallelujah mode and she lets out a squeal because a bottle always tastes good. - The first year of “firsts” is over. There are still plenty of “firsts” to come, but her first holidays are behind us. Her first plane ride is a (happy) memory. Her first words have been recorded in her baby book. There’s something so purely joyful about watching an infant discover their world the first year that has left me in awe of the power of the human body and mind: The ecstasy of seeing her eyes examine my face and her mouth smile back at me for the first time. The pride in coaching her to roll over on her own. Her dad and I laughing and cheering her on as she took her first wobbly steps into our arms. We’ll continue to celebrate her in the coming years, but few future firsts will top the utter joy and awe we’ve felt watching her grow and making a huge deal out of every new season this first go around the sun.
Being able to take her anywhere with little fuss. If I wanted to run errands, meet friends for a walk, or just get out of the house in general, my daughter was a faithful companion who rarely made noise about it. More often than not, she fell asleep before we made it out of the neighborhood! Strap her into her car seat or stroller and she was content to snooze or to quietly observe – with interest! – the passing sights around us. I hear toddlers aren’t as happy go lucky.- Baby rolls. Baby feet. Baby lips.
- The relative simplicity of caring for an infant. We’ve been blessed with a pretty easygoing, healthy baby. All she has really needed for the first year of life is warmth, food, and love. I’ve been happy to oblige with countless cuddles, all the nourishment she wants and endless amounts of attention. By day three of her life, I lost count of how many hours I simply stared at her in my arms, in her Boppy or in her bassinet. She’s not a picky eater (see No. 1 above). If she spits up on her clothes, we change her without complaint from her about what she’s wearing. And while she has some fun toys, she’s also super interested in empty oatmeal canisters and cereal boxes. I’m soaking this simplicity up while I can.
As she takes her first steps and we wobble into toddlerhood together, here are five things I’m looking forward to about toddlerhood:
- Even more exciting firsts. During the next 12 months, we’ll start repeating the cadences of family and American life, and I’m hoping I won’t become so caught up in comparing it to her first time last year that I fail to stay present, enjoy the current moment, and create equally powerful memories. No, this year won’t be her first Fourth of July but that should be no reason to not take as many photos of her in her red, white and blue outfit and the wonder on her face as she notices fireworks high above her head. It won’t be her first Thanksgiving but she’ll be able to eat much more of our family feast than she could last year – and maybe have some hallelujah words to go along with the raised arms.
Speaking of words: This should be the year she starts talking! What a relief it will be to not have to guess at what she wants from her cries, shrieks, and grunts, and instead begin to have some meaningful conversations in English, even if it’s highly modified, highly truncated toddler-speak. Specifically, I’m looking forward to the first time she utters the word “Mama.” She’s had “Dada” down pat for a few months now, but he didn’t carry her for 40 weeks, did he? Some verbal acknowledgment of that matter is long overdue from my darling girl. - Walking, swimming, jumping, dancing – as she gains more control over her body, I’m looking forward to all the fun activities we can introduce. I’ll need to keep my expectations for her physical capabilities grounded, but I’m already imagining sunny days spent splashing at the kiddie pool, summer nights winding down with a leisurely walk around the block (or maybe just to the end of the driveway and back – as I said, need to stay grounded!) and Sunday mornings bouncing on the bed.
- Being able to occupy her with new and interesting toys. While I said I love the simplicity of entertaining an infant, there are days when her attention span just can’t focus on a distraction long enough for me to even use the bathroom before she’s wailing again. I’m looking forward to the days when she’ll page through a book with some thought to the words and pictures, instead of eagerly grabbing it just to put it in her mouth. I’m anticipating the meals out when she’ll use the restaurant-provided crayons to color her placemat instead of trying to eat them. And it will be a fun day when we can start playing simple games as a family! Our board game cupboard is stocked and waiting.
- Ditching diapers. While we probably have another year of diapers ahead of us, leaving infancy behind means we are that much closer to independent bathroom use! This gives me life because she has been dropping some real stinkers lately.
Your turn, mamas: What are/were you most sad to leave behind with your infant’s first year? What do/did you look forward to most about toddlerhood?
