The Best Moms Are Selfish

The Best Moms Are Selfish

No matter what your journey to motherhood looks like, moms everywhere suffer from early onset Mom Guilt. It is running rampant through our community. I think it might even be contagious. Often, we even struggle with especially complicated cases of Mom Guilt when we have guilt for not having guilt.

“Oh. She is feeling terrible for mistakenly grabbing the nonorganic milk. Why don’t I feel terrible for giving my kids regular milk on purpose? I must be a terrible mom.”

It’s gotten so bad we consider it “selfish” if we ever use our energy, our time, our money on anything other than our families.

Time to get selfish.

I’m here to remind you, mama, it’s time to be “selfish.”

You do everything for everyone all the time. You go hours and hours and then realize you haven’t eaten. Or gone to the bathroom. Or taken a breath. You work so hard for your family.

Listen. You can only give and give and give of yourself before you run out. Out of patience. Out of energy. Out of cares. And then it all tends to fall apart.

When we are “selfish,” we take the time or resources needed to do something on our own and for ourselves. And it gives us life. It reminds us that we are whole human beings with so many gifts and talents to offer this world. And while motherhood is one of the most beautiful parts of who we are, it is not all we are and we cannot allow it to swallow us up.

It’s like that incredibly-overused-but-still-so-absolutely-appropriate example of the oxygen mask on the airplane. If there is ever a time when the oxygen masks are needed, the rules state you are to put one on yourself first and then help others around you. The idea is if you try to help those around you first, you will quickly run out of air and be incapacitated and unable to help anyone.

Put your mask on.

You have permission to put your own mask on first. To get a hobby. To take a trip. To hide the good chocolate.

When a mom becomes “selfish,” she becomes more patient.

When a mom becomes “selfish,” she becomes more energetic.

When a mom becomes “selfish,” she becomes more confident in her whole self.

A “selfish” mom is a role model to her children.

We need to fight this whole Mom Guilt epidemic. Motherhood is both unimaginably beautiful and unimaginably hard at exactly the same time.

Let’s agree that self-care is not selfish and let’s put on our dang masks.

We have to be in this together, mamas. Let’s encourage each other to take those moments for ourselves so we can be better humans for our families. 

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What’s your favorite method of self-care? Share in the comments!

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4 Responses to The Best Moms Are Selfish

  1. Niki May 15, 2018 at 9:54 am #

    This is so spot on…I could not agree more!

    • Ashley May 16, 2018 at 8:36 pm #

      🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

  2. Colleen May 16, 2018 at 7:27 am #

    I absolutely agree 100%!!! Mom’s need that time to focus on themselves

    • Ashley May 16, 2018 at 8:38 pm #

      It absolutely 100% makes me a better (more sane) mom. 🙋🏼‍♀️