We all know to stay away from products that are toxic or poisonous. And make sure our kids stay away from them, too. But, for some reason, the same doesn’t hold true when it comes to how we deal with toxic people.
Toxic people are those who take more than they give and who think mainly of themselves. They tend to blame the world for whatever bad situation they are in instead of taking responsibility for their own actions. Being around those toxic people is exhausting and draining.
So why do we do it?
In my case, I thought that the good qualities of this person outweighed the bad qualities. We had been “friends” for so long that our lives had become intertwined. What options did I have? I thought that once you became friends with someone, you stayed friends. It’s not like this person was doing things that were illegal… passive aggressive, yes; illegal, no.
It took me a really long time to figure out that I didn’t need to be around this person if I didn’t want to be.
My perspective about life has changed over the years. It started about ten years ago when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. Going through something traumatic showed me who my friends were. This person was not. This person was still thinking only about themselves while I was watched my Mom suffer through a terminal illness. It was always all about them.
It was always all about them.
Losing my Mom made me realize that I only want to spend the time I have on this planet with people who are genuine and thoughtful. I didn’t want to be around people who weren’t enriching my life in some way through their encouragement, their support, or their humor.
Friendship, like any relationship, is a give-and-take. There are times when you may be giving more than you take, but it should balance out at some point. When you have a toxic person in your life, there is no balance. I decided that I didn’t need to be friends with a toxic person and I walked away from them. It was a huge weight off my shoulders. I felt better immediately.
Have you ever walked away from a toxic relationship? How did it change your life?