When we found out over six years ago that our first child was going to be a girl, I was over the moon. After all, there were so many “girly” things I couldn’t wait to share with my future mini-me! While no one would take me for a frilly pink girly-girl in the Legally Blonde sense of the words, so much of who I am today reminds me of my mom and all the “joys of being a girl” that she handed down to me over the years.
Growing up, I often watched her as she put on her makeup for the day, did her hair and applied perfume and lotion. To me, it was all part of the mystery of being a woman, and boy, I couldn’t wait to grow up. Some of our best conversations happened while I sat on the edge of the tub and she curled her eyelashes.
When I turned 13, she got me the best birthday gift ever: she took me to the makeup counter at Macy’s, where I had a professional lesson in skin care and makeup application, and she treated me to all the essentials to start my own collection. Mom built her beauty expertise working for a high-end beauty brand for several years, and she passed her know-how (and samples!) on to me. I loved spending the first part of each day taking care of myself in that way. And now that I’m an adult wearing lots of different hats, I find that feeling “pulled together” truly helps me feel more confident. It’s not about wearing full makeup or spending a long time getting ready. It’s just part of my armor to face the day, something that makes me feel good about myself.
Mom’s expertise extended to wardrobe, too. Even after I started in the working world making real money, every nice piece of jewelry or clothing I owned came from my parents – stuff I couldn’t buy for myself, or wouldn’t buy for myself because I didn’t know what to look for. They treated me to diamond studs at 18, a set of pearls at 21 (rub ’em against your teeth!), the perfect Nordstrom suit that got me the job, a real wool pea coat that has lasted a decade and counting, and bras that actually fit (hint: they’re not the flimsy cute ones at Victoria’s Secret).
I confess that, to me, this was one of the sweetest prospects of having a daughter of my own: to spoil her with a few finer things and indulge together in the fun of being a girl. It was one of my first thoughts when the tech told us we were having a girl. Of course, I know she might have zero interest in all that when the time comes. That’s okay. Maybe she’d rather be playing soccer or studying for the state spelling bee or whatever. But I still hope she’ll meet me halfway in the bathroom and perch on the tub, so we can have our own girl talk.
P.S., the final frontier for me – still, at thirty-something – my hair. Although I did inherit Mom’s penchant for experimenting with cut and color, I didn’t really get a handle on styling my hair until the last five years or so. And honestly, it’s still a work in progress, marked by periods of either having bangs and loving it or growing them out and hating it. Argh!
How have the women in your life influenced your sense of style?
So many of my girlfriends had restrictions on makeup and hair color. No mascara till they’re 16, only lip gloss allowed (hello Avon Slick Tint!!), and absolutely no (gasp!) blue hair!! I’m so glad my mom gave me a lot of liberty to explore and experiment. Back when I was a high school counselor, I used to tell worried parents that if the worst thing their child did was dye their hair a funky color then they were ahead of the game!!
Ah yes, Avon’s faux lipstick! And Wet ‘n Wild – OMG, their entire brand was just made for experimenting. Although, a lot of the time, I was just wearing makeup to desperately cover up acne!
I learned everything about being a girl from magazines — all the “how to” articles taught me everything from makeup to hair. Of course, I also learned a bit by watching my ever-daring older sister wear her hair in a different style for an entire school year! But since she was my sister, I was reluctant to listen to her advice and tips.
It’s been a joy raising my daughters and doing all those “girl” things. Anna still asks me to curl her hair and knows how to coax me by saying, “Mom, you just do such a good job!”
Cosmo and 17 were definitely the beauty bibles. I am impressed (but not surprised!) that you were able to recreate what you saw in magazines. I always felt like I needed an extra hand or arm to pull of some of the hair styles. I will have to ask this daring older sister of yours about her school year of ‘dos…
I still don’t know how to do any of those things… can you or your Mom give me some lessons?! My Mom wasn’t a make-up kind of girl so I really wasn’t either.
When my daughter was a cheerleader and I had to cake make-up on her face, I was sooo nervous about putting it on the right way. They gave us a lesson, but I don’t think that type of make-up would be appropriate for my every day corporate persona.
If you’re interested, one of the best things I can recommend is booking a makeup service appointment at MAC inside a Macy’s or Nordstorm. You pay for the service itself, so you’re not pressured to buy any of the products! It’s a great way to learn something new. You can also get a free makeup service at Sephora, but you have to make a $50 purchase (definitely not hard to do with all of the great goodies there!).
Moms are awesome 🙂 I love being and having girls too. I call one of my girls a princess warrior. She is as girly as you get and tough as nails.