We have all read the books, manuals, and websites on what to do when your child get’s a fever, is teething, or having a meltdown in the middle of the store. Where is that manual when you really need it? Well, after having three kids, the manual was thrown out the window after child 1.5 (teehee!).
I am sure the manuals are backed by some scientific research or some experiment, but the hypothesis as to what was occurring as my child melted in the store, no longer applied. Insert the real mamma and my own research a.k.a “get with my program.”
Here are my top five responses/lessons when it comes to certain situations with “parenting” both the manual way and real momma’s way with #sideeye and #smh:
1. When you get rejection and “no, I don’t want to.”
Manual: Make an attempt to learn why this behavior occurs and understand your child better.
Real Momma: Really?? You don’t WANT to. Guess what? You HAVE to if you want those crackers or to play outside. Yes, this is bribery at its best and I do it all the time.
2. Not sharing with siblings and/or other friends.
Manual: There may be some reason for not sharing, like fear. Create a better environment.
Real Momma: Well, there went that toy…now no one gets to play with it. You messed it up for each other and now you need to think about it. Let me know what you decide together. I have all day.
3. The mall meltdown.
Manual: Learn to speak to your child sternly and understand their emotions and triggers.
Real Momma: Guess what? You get the FIRE eyes the first time. And if I have to bring them out again, it’s a bathroom trip…yes, the dreaded bathroom – you WILL learn today.
4. To nap or not to nap.
Manual: It may not be imperative for your child to nap and that’s ok.
Real Momma: No question here. You will nap or have “quiet time,” because I said so and that’s a scientific reason enough. We will not argue about this little one of mine.
5. “I want this and that” and defiance when it’s not received.
Manual: Determine what the want is and how to negotiate a positive outcome.
Real Momma: I’m sorry, do you have money? Ok then. Well, I guess you really have nothing to negotiate then. In that case, I’ll determine what you do and what you get. Thanks though.
I will say I love learning about new techniques with kids and use them to my advantage. But my kids respond best when I tell them how things will work and what my expectations are. I have to adjust at times for them to “get it” and for me to keep my sanity. And a glass of red wine also helps.