Images of Me: Perception vs. My Reality

Sometimes what you see is not really what’s there. For example, on the outside looking in, I may seem like I have it together. However, things are not always what they appear (and I know some of you can relate). In fact, my reality is different from perception as I’m quite hard on myself. One area where I’m most self-critical is my body image.

I pride myself on making sure that I am always surrounded by positive women as I’m not one for drama or negativity. When surrounded by nothing but positivity, on any given day I may receive a compliment. It definitely feels good to get a compliment, but I sometimes lose sight of these positive gestures. A few weeks ago, I was in the break room eating a salad and one of my coworkers asked if I lost weight due to the change in my eating habits (I’ve been eating a pescatarian diet). After LOLing (loudly), I told her no. A few days later a girlfriend commented on how slender my face looked, and asked how often I work out and my current diet plan. You would think I would be on cloud nine after getting compliments on two different occasions. However, my self-critical self was more focused on the negative.

When I look in the mirror I generally like what I see. Don’t get me wrong, I see the flaws – the cellulite, mom pooch, and everlasting dark circles under my eyes. But, I have recently lost a few pounds. My friend and co-worker perceive I’m healthy by exercising and eating right. Now I do workout…sometimes. Other times I have “unconventional” workouts. You know, a random dance party with the kids, an endless game of tag at the park, or running up and down the stairs because I get sidetracked and forget what I came upstairs for. So while it’s perceived I lost weight due to eating right and working out, my reality is that I probably lost a few pounds from a low-calorie diet (aka skipping meals) and from exercising (aka trying to get a fussy toddler in a car seat).

You may ask, how do I remove the self-criticism? Well, I have three words for you – focus, accept, adjust. First, I focus on the positive. Losing weight is a great positive, that’s the easy part. Next comes to accept – I accept I’m a work in progress. I may not be where I want to be, but I accept that I can change things to get where I want to be. Lastly, I adjust my expectations. No, I don’t need to lower my expectations, I just need to adjust them. Rather than to have expectations that I will get back to my high school body, I adjust my expectations to realize my expectations that if I can fit in a 14 minute Bowflex workout, I’m doing alright.

So you see things are not always what they appear. Others may look at me and perceive one thing. My reality may be something different. Yet, as long as I focus, accept, and adjust, I can minimize my self- criticism and focus on the positive – my weight loss is noticeable to others!

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Vanessa
Vanessa is a yoga loving, blog writing, coffee drinking Alpharetta mom. Originally from the Chicago metro area, she moved to Atlanta in 2005. Life keeps her busy juggling a career in the insurance industry, being a wife of 10 years, and maintaining what sanity is left to parent her son and daughter - ages 7 and 5. You can find her in the Atlanta area sipping coffee (or wine after the kid's bedtime), taking a yoga class, or finding solace in the aisles of Target. She recounts her wellness journey in her blog shesnsync.com.