Summer Blues | Time for Back to School!

I’m anxious about how this will come across. I’ve long known that admitting I have this disorder might somewhat ostracize me from my peers and it pains me to know that my children might be affected in any way by the information that follows.

But as the seasons have changed and yet another school year has ended, I’m finding it harder and harder to go about my daily routines. The struggles I endure exacerbate my symptoms and as a stay-at-home mom of 3, my babies are often burdened by my sickness.

There’s really no easy way to say it, but here goes. My name is Brittni and I don’t like summertime.

There, that blank stare and rolling of the eyes, that’s what I was afraid of. You parents with your camp schedules and poolside retreats, the ones that have play dates blocked out ‘til August, and family bonding time scrawled onto the dry erase calendar stuck to the refrigerator – you are my (s)heroes. But I do not share your love for all things warm weather.

Summer for an introverted mom is like the obstacle course that firefighters-in-training go through before graduation. Technically, yes, you are prepared for it. You’ve studied all books, engaged in a few dry runs and heck, this is the job you signed up for…but geez, all of these challenges at once are a bit much and why does it have to be so freaking hot?!

There are cookouts, park parties, and pool play dates out the wazoo…and all because of one drunken night soundtracked by Justin Timberlake slow jams for some reason , you’ve got a kid or 3 pulling on your dress hem and expecting you to love sun and socialization as much as they do. When in reality, being around large groups just reminds me how bad I am at small talk (Have you ever had a conversation with a stranger about your fluctuating bra size? I have. And boy, was that guy uncomfortable), and the idea of sweating in public…well, it makes me sweat.

My biggest issue with this warm weather season is figuring out how to walk the line between keeping these little rascals happy and not losing my mind. In my heart, a perfect day consists of spending a few hours watching some cutesy family movies, maybe knock out a craft or two (preferably something that doesn’t require actual creativity on my part) and then dine on Costco’s finest $10 frozen pizza a delicious home-cooked meal.

But noooo, do you know what the Wee B3 (my 6, 4, and almost 2-year- old) want? They want to slide down a scalding hot plastic slide over at East Cobb Park, sip slushies while splashing around at Centennial Park or – deep breath, here – make fish eyes at actual fish at the aquarium. All those activities require a grown-up well versed at maturely navigating life amongst other people. Newsflash: That ain’t me.

Any other time, I handle my anxiety with grace. Invitations to a soiree for myself, when I’m not feeling very talkative, are typically met with a polite, “No thanks, maybe next time.” But during the summer when I decline a bunch of kiddie invites, my kids find out…and they are not happy about it. Have you ever gotten a dressing down from a 6-year-old because she missed a Frozen-themed birthday party where “the real Elsa, mama, I swear” was supposed to have been? It is not pretty and doggone it, where did she learn so many swear words!

So here I sit, drinking copious amounts of wine thinking good thoughts and preparing for another week of Momm-ing in the Summer. It’s not easy and it’s definitely not my fave, but I’ll make it work. Why? Because these little people depend on me and I love them. And well, let’s be honest, one day I’ll need one of them to pick a nursing home for me, and I’d like it to be one that doesn’t resemble a cellblock. #KeepinItReal. So here’s to all of you summer-phobic mamas like me: May your daylight hours be short and the AC in your car, ever-powerful – stay strong, August will be here before you know it!