To Pre-K We Go!

 I knew someday, likely sooner rather than later, the day would come.  I’ve dreaded it for some time now, hemmed and hawed over making the big decision. I’ve tried to justify putting it off month after month, year after year.  Now the time has finally come, my anxiety is through the roof…

Charleigh June is going to school.

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Wow.  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to watch her grow up and become this intelligent little person, but it feels like just yesterday she was wearing diapers. We’ve had a great run, and although she may be lacking in social skills she knows things most four-year-olds don’t. I’m proud of her knowledge of the human body – correct anatomical terms, the basics of CPR, and risk factors associated with lifestyle choices. But there’s so much that I can’t teach her.

I worry.

A lot. All the headline news the last year has me even more anxious than usual, and the shooting in Santa Fe, Texas hit close to home. 

Don’t you send your kids off to school every morning expecting them to be safe?  If they aren’t safe at school, the only place/time you are assured they’re safe is when they’re with you. But even when they’re with you there are hidden dangers present. 

The first day of school is right around the corner.  Charleigh June is struggling with the thought of being away from me for a half day, and I’m definitely struggling with it too. 

I wasn’t popular growing up, in fact, I was often picked on and bullied. Despite that, for whatever reason, I absolutely loved going to school. Yet I can’t help but worry that she’s more like me than her father. I’m not sure my heart can handle seeing her hurt because classmates don’t like her for whatever reason.

I’m scared.

What if I’m not as strong as I need to be for her?  I wish I could spray magic hairspray on her and keep her little forever, to protect her from everything crazy and hurtful going on outside of the security of our house. Sadly, that magic spray hasn’t been invented yet.

In the meantime, I’m going to soak up every precious minute with her. We’re going to bake, watch her favorite doctor shows (ER), color, cuddle, and have as much fun as possible. I’m going to try to focus on all of the new and exciting things that she will learn and Embrace the fact this will allow me to spend some much needed precious time with the twins. 

Once I get past the initial shock of sending her to school and we fall into a routine I’m sure it will all be perfectly fine. Even though there are days all three of the kids drive me absolutely batty I know how incredibly lucky I’ve been able to have this special time together.  Our current normal will be long gone, and we will find our new normal.  I’ll miss her like crazy, but I’m excited to see who she becomes as she matures.  I just hope and pray she thrives both academically and socially, and I survive drop off on August 8th. 

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