Weddings and Kids: When your Plus-One is a Little One

My 14-month-old just attended his third wedding. Two were Indian weddings (weekend-long celebrations that include a 2+ hour ceremony) and one was a destination wedding in Ireland. All required travel. The #1 thing I’ve learned: weddings are not designed for kids. But in our family, weddings double as family reunions. If we showed up without our son, we’d likely be sent home. Luckily, our son was a great traveler and guest at all three weddings. 

Most of the articles I read about traveling with little ones talked about following your child’s schedule, respecting their need to sleep, and finding kid-friendly activities to keep everyone entertained. Wedding itineraries don’t allow for any of that, and, as a guest, you have very little control over what happens when. (The second thing I learned: how to follow the Serenity Prayer.)

Since spring and summer are prime seasons for weddings (and family vacations, graduations, cruises, family reunions…), here are 10 tips for attending the Big Day with your little plus-ones. 

If you’re traveling:

• Travel with others. Having extra hands around to help with luggage and over-excited little ones is priceless, as is the novelty of a “new” person to play with.
• Stay on-site if you can (or as close as possible). When you’re running late on the day-of, but only have to take the elevator to get to the ceremony, you’ll be thankful. Other great hotel-features: free breakfast, a pool, and some type of water feature in the lobby. 
• Use packing cubes. (This set from Eagle Creek is my favorite.) I will never travel without these again. For this trip, I organized our clothes by event. It was easy to get ready because there were no questions about what to wear and everything stayed packed (great for checking out of the hotel). *Crossing time zones? Check out this article by fellow AAMB Contributor Nadine.

On the day-of the wedding:

• Make it all about the kids. Feed them well–stick with healthy, familiar foods that you know they like–and do some low-maintenance activities. Go to a playground, the hotel pool, or watch a movie. (Some of the best parenting advice I’ve ever received: If you want 10 minutes of cooperation from your child, give them 10 minutes of quality time first.)
• Everyone naps. (Sleeping away from home? We practiced napping at Grandma’s house before our first trip to see what would work in getting our son to sleep. On the trip, we delayed nap time by about 30 minutes and made sure to be in our hotel room during that time so he could wind down.)

At the wedding:

• Before the ceremony, let your child get some exercise so he or she is ready to sit still. Scout out the bathroom and a place to stand with a fussy child ahead of time. (And be ready to change a diaper without a changing table!)
• Break out some kid-friendly snacks during the cocktail hour. Yes, spoil their dinner. At our most recent wedding, we were seated for dinner and then listened to 6 toasts before the meal was served. Several kids at our table refused to make eye-contact with the very grown-up food on their plates.
• Don’t promise dessert. A tired and hungry kid is likely to have a meltdown when the dessert is creme brulee or carrot cake with coconut frosting.
• Bring this self-inflating booster seat. We’ve used it at all three weddings, at restaurants and friends’ houses, and at Grandma’s house when we don’t feel like bringing the high chair. (Make sure you request a seat at the table for your child when you RSVP.)
• Bring a baby carrier or stroller. Our son will generally go to sleep in the carrier if he’s tired enough, and the stroller gave him a bit of a reprieve from being passed around by his relatives. It was also a great way to take him for a quick stroll away from all of the noise. (If your child sleeps in the stroller, try out this SnoozeShade –we’ve had good luck with it when we can’t make it back to the hotel for a nap.)

A few bonus tips for Mom:

Pick an outfit you can stand, sit, baby-wrangle, diaper-change, and dance in. Get your hair done (even if it’s just a shampoo & blow dry) at a nearby salon. You deserve to get ready without a toddler climbing up your knees. Lastly, dance with your little one at the reception. In front of the photographer if you can. You’ll want to remember this.