What Moms Really Want for Christmas

what moms really want for christmas

In a recently conducted, extremely reliable, incredibly scientific poll done by–um–me on my social media, researchers (also me) have discovered what moms truly want for Christmas.

The question posed to moms was simple: “If Santa could bring you anything, real or imagined, what would you ask for?”

The responses came and a trend overwhelmingly presented itself. While Santa might have a hard time filling the requests exactly as hoped, I took the liberty of offering up a few, slightly more realistic, alternatives. 

CHEF
Every evening around 6:00, these people who live in our houses want to eat. Again. Which means we’re supposed to feed these tiny humans. Again. There are only so many times we can get away with frozen nugget-shaped meat product and leftover shells and cheese. Believe me. I’ve tested those limits. So if Santa could bring moms a chef to do all your menu planning and shopping and cooking? Dream come true. A personal chef is sadly out of reach for most of us. But what about these alternatives to make mealtime a bit easier?
Meal Subscription Service that could deliver fresh ingredients and detailed recipes right to your door. No thinking required. Which is great because I have zero brain cells left by dinnertime. 
Grocery Delivery or Curbside Pickup is now a thing at several major supermarkets. Not having to become the People of Walmart twice a week sounds heavenly to me.
– Menu Planning and List Making Service would at least cut down on the time it takes to plan the weekly menu and shopping lists. This would save us all from being stuck in a repetitive dinner rotation.

CHAUFFEUR
I can’t even imagine all the hours moms spend driving back and forth from home to school to extracurriculars to home. Multiplied by however many kids you have. Many moms polled said it would be great if Santa could bring them, someone, to take the keys and the traffic and the road rage to free up some hours every week. A chauffeur might be hard to gift wrap but here are a few ideas that would fit in a box.
– Car Detail Servicewould go a long way to making those hours in the car more pleasant. Someone else vacuuming out all the goldfish crumbs and old french fries every now and then would be awesome.
– iTunes Gift Card so mom can rock out to all the 90s jams of her glory days. You know a little Spice Girls and Sugar Ray could turn a traffic jam into a karaoke dance party. 
– Audio Books for those days when we can’t find the energy to Vogue with Madonna. A great story to escape into would give us something to look forward to on those long drives.

NANNY
This is kind of a no-brainer. If we had someone reliable and trustworthy to be a substitute for us on those days when we’d like to call in sick or when we’d love to do the shopping minus our tiny entourage or just to take a walk and hear our own thoughts? Well, my friends, that would be a game changer. While Mary Poppins isn’t available, here are a few alternatives.
– Babysitting Company Gift Certificate would give the gift of date night with the peace and confidence that comes with a background check and CPR certification.
– Kid Swap would be a great option for when we can’t afford the babysitting fees plus a night out. Get together with some trusted friends and work out a trade. You take their kids for a night and they’ll take yours on another night. The gift here would be mom not having to arrange any details.

BARTENDER
Because most of us don’t have chefs, chauffeurs, or nannies. It would be lovely to get the kids to bed, sit in the quiet with a nice glass of wine, and binge on some Netflix. Unfortunately, Santa’s supply could not possibly meet the demand, so here are some other options.
– Home Cocktail Machine is totally now a thing. Mamas, we are living in the future and it is glorious. Similar to a Keurig, you can pop in a pod and have a drink mixed up for you in no time.
– Wine Club Subscription offers the opportunity to have happy mail delivered right to your door on a monthly schedule. Most clubs will figure out what you like and send you new wines to enjoy.

MAID
By far, the most popular response. Moms the world over would give their front tooth for someone to clean the house for them. Okay, so that’s an exaggeration. But still. This one doesn’t even need any explanations. We spend a huge portion of our day cleaning only for it to be a total disaster five minutes later. Here’s something that could help those of us who can’t afford a live-in housekeeper.
– Housecleaning Company Gift Certificate whether it’s a one time deal or maybe quarterly, a sweet precious soul could come to your home and do the deep cleaning we tend to forget about. Or pretend to forget about. Things like ceiling fans, baseboards, and the top of the fridge would be such a gift.
– Robot Vacuum would be the next best thing to having adorable little woodland creatures come to help clean whenever we whistled. Press a button and have the crumbs and dog hair everyone else pretends not to notice be gone in a flash? Perfection.

So moms. Feel free to leave this page open for your family to stumble upon. Send a link. Print it off and tape it to the bathroom mirror. May your hints land in all the right places. May you find all the best surprises under your tree, and may all your Christmas dreams come true!

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